"Hi, my name is Tammy and I'm a legalist. It's been ten minutes since I had my last judgmental thought." This is how I imagine I would introduce myself at a meeting of Legalaholics Anonymous. I'd go on to describe how it started with little things, like thinking I was special because I kept the law. Then how I began looking down at people who didn't believe the same things as me.

It got worse: I started believing there were no other Christians except those in the same church. My legalism grew to include thinking I knew the true version of the history of the church and the rest of the world had been deceived.

My addiction became so bad I wouldn't even fellowship with people in the world. I taught my children to be just as intolerant as me.

Like the roots of a weed, legalism grows deep in the minds of Christians. Sometimes the tips break off, staying long after the main roots have been pulled out. I know it's possible to come out of it, but legalism is probably similar to alcoholism in that we can never say we've completely recovered.

One of the most pervasive root tips is that of object mentality: when we treat people like objects, valuing them only for their performance. This is the way of the world. If you don't look good or perform well, you may be considered not only worthless but also expendable.

Placing too much value on performance is a habit of thinking that takes a long time to break. If husbands and wives don't do what each expects, they may be disappointed or over time, become bitter. Many parents put unnecessary pressure on their children to perform, which can cause feelings of inferiority or other emotional problems.

In churches, obedience and contributions (monetary or otherwise) are the yardsticks of value. Is there any other group of people who judge each other with so much energy and enthusiasm?

This all too human tendency was not a problem for Jesus. He looked past the performance to the person. When the Pharisees brought the woman they had caught in the very act of adultery to him, all they could see was what she had been doing (where was her partner?). Jesus however, saw her for the lonely, mixed-up sinner she was and saved her from their self-righteous object mentality.

So back to my LA meeting. If I were to come up with twelve steps they would have to include an exercise in learning to treat people as persons and not objects. We could start by visualizing someone we tend to judge regularly as the one caught in adultery and Jesus standing in front of him or her wondering if we would cast the first stone.

Maybe one day I'll work on the other eleven steps, but in the meantime, I think I'll start carrying my "first stone" around to remind me that Jesus cares more about who we are than what we do.